Relationship Jokes!

(1).
An 18 year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray
hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However,
I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.
I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a town house,
a beachfront villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born,
my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account,
if they are twins, a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point,
the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,


"You'll sleep with her again!"


(2).
Marriage - Part I Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules: I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be
sex here at seven o'clock every night whether you're here or not."


(3).

Memory Class
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"


(4).
Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy