RAMATU Parts 20-30

**continuation…

RAMATU PART 20

It was getting to 12 o’clock midnight, and a crowd had converged at the house.They all could hear the sound coming from my room, “take me back, take me back, take me back” this time with echo.it was then a guy claiming to be a man of God devoted himself to go and get whatever was making that noise,.He brought out his bible, spoke some tongues and entered my room.Most women amongst the crowd were praying.till then i realised i was still erect and at this time i was having serious abdominal pains.two minutes later. .


RAMATU PART 21
Now two minutes after the man of God had been in my room, we heard sounds of slaps, “ppa!, ppaaa!!, ppppaaaaaa!!!!”. . then we saw the guy zooming out of the room with full speed crying and screaming “chineke ei!, chinekei!!, amadioha save mee ooo. . .”
the self-acclaimed pastor’s athletism and pace prompted every one on the compound to run away, of course i was the first to escape.
Though i was scared to the bone, my lips were still beaming with smiles as i was laughing at the pastor and my landlord who fell off trying to run cas of his pot belly.
Nobody slept that night for the scare of the sound coming from my room.what i failed to understand was the fact that i was still erect


RAMATU PART 22

I kept vigil with my friend pele throughout the night till it was morning.My Attention was more intense now and was paining me.
It was there Pele suggested he knew one powerful medicineman at cotonou who could cure my Attention disorder, but we had no money.
Then we devised a plan.
We went out to where the mosque was.We saw muslims in the mosque bowing to praise Allah.At the doorstep of the mosque was about 200 pairs of sandals.it belonged to the worshippers since they were not allowed to enter the mosque with footwear .Pele and i packed all the sandals into our sack and took to our heels.Not long after we began running, we saw the muslims coming out of the mosque, spotting us and giving us a hooooooooot chase. . .


RAMATU PART 23

It was scary because the muslims were fast, but i proved that day i had olympic gold potentials.We run and run and run till we out-paced the angry muslims who needed their sandals’ badly with chants of “worlahi!!.”. “Allah!” “chei!!”.
We came across this taxi which we hopped into with our booty.Pele sat at the front with the sack and i was in the back where i spotted this blind hunchback reading a book titled “hunchbacks and rituals”
NOT long after we joined the taxi, then BBBBBBAAMMMMM!!!!. . .


RAMATU PART 24

A truck had crashed into our taxi.Our driver died on the spot.I saw pele also very badly injured with all his front teeth removed, i was laughing, because i was not that hurt.Then i saw rescuers enter our taxi to help us get out.They brought out pele and the deceased taxi driver.I checked on the driver’s seat and spotted some naira notes, i quickly grabbed them and stuffed them into my pocket.
The rescuers brought out the hunchback and they thought the accident had given him that hunchback so they were going to stretch him to become normal when he cried out nasally ” na so i be oo abeg dont stretch me eeeeee!!” i was full of lafta


RAMATU PART 25

The rescuers wouldnt take any of that from the poor hunchback, but still went ahead to stretch him violently and soon i heard a loud rhythmic fart with echo coming from the abled anus of the hunchback, the rescuers suddenly dropped him to the ground and took to their heels.Soon, houseflies, bluebottles, bees and other violent flies engulfed the scene, as i covered my nostrils tightly to block the repugnant stench from entering my nostrils.It was then i realised i was still erect. .this time even harder.
Soon i spotted the angry muslims chanting war songs heading towards my area so i set off in Usain Bolt style, with the sack containing their sandals firmly in my grips.


RAMATU PART 26


The muslims were now closer to me than ever when i saw an albino heading towards mee on his bicycle.Whilst riding past me, i pushed him off his bike, took charge of it and rode like i was maaaad.I rode and rode and rode and before i realised, i was at the Lagos airpot.”oh my God” i thought.I saw one giant aeroplane with the inscription “VIRGIN NIGERIA”.I saw people in ques trooping into the aeroplane.I hurriedly joined them, and soon i was inside the plane, without anyone asking me a word.i suddenly heard a lady’s voice, that we must tighten our seat belts as the plane was about to take off. . ..


RAMATU PART 27

It was there and then i asked a white lady sitting close to me where we were going, to which she replied “AMERICA”.I did the sign of cross then i could feel the plane moving.Just as the plane moved, i spotted one big grasscutter with speed cross over where i was seated, i got up and gave it a hooooot chase inside the plane.Everyone on board in shock was looking at me.I saw the grasscutter hop into the skirt of one fine babe, i stretched off my hand into the babe’s skirt and caught the grasscutter.i removed my belt, tied it around the grass-cutter’s neck and hanged it till it died.


RAMATU PART 28

I could hear lots of peeps on the flight murmuring, cursing and all that.I saw one lady who was dressed like a waitress on the plane, so i bave her the grasscutter to go and roast it for me.she took it and left.
it was just after this that two well built guys holding pistols asked everyone on the flight to say their last prayers and that they were suicide bombers.They quickly relesed a few gunshots into roof and everyone was shaking.It was at the same time we heard an announcement that, the pilot was having his eppileptic attack so everyone must pray hard.


RAMATU PART 29

I could hear many screaming, others praying but i was just erect and shivering.I crawled on the floor into the pilots room to take charge of the plane which was already at the verge of crashing.I saw the pilot who had had an eppileptic attack’s miserable body in the room with foam all over his mouth.I gave him two dirty slaps and then decided to pilot the plane myself.Try as i could, i could not do anything.Luckily, i spotted two parachutes, i took both, through the windows i gently descended down the plane with a much harder Attention coupled with series of farts. . . grin


RAMATU PART 30

I finally touched down and i found myself in a very strange place.It was a shrine.I saw the fetish priest, very old and tattered .He asked me my mission in his shrine and i told him the story.He promised he could cure my erectionn disorder, but i will have to pay him.I told him i had no money so we came to a compromise that, i will stay in the shrine and work for him for one year when he healed me of the erecttion fever.He told me to cure my errection, i had to bleep his godess, who was half-human, half snake.i fainted!!!

Other Parts Will Follow So Stay Tuned!!